Goldberg Helps Get Rid of Writer's Block

Natalie Goldberg has a way of talking about writing that I have never really considered before. In readings in previous weeks, the ways she said to draft or free write was so simple and made so much sense that I had never really considered it before. Of course, writing without taking any grammar into consideration is difficult for me to even consider. My grammar is far from perfect, but completely neglecting it is difficult. The reasons behind doing it, however, makes logical. In this week's readings, Goldberg talks about how we cannot worry about our words becoming us or us becoming our words permanently and how writing about our obsessions creates some of the best work.

In the chapter "We are not the Poem," Goldberg shares about how people who attend her readings think the poems are about her. She goes on to say that this is not the case, even when she uses "I," because they are really her thoughts and feelings at that moment, and those are a completely different being. While reading this, I first thought, "Oh, yes. I definitely understand that." Part of the reason I understood this so well was because I have a friend who writes (and performs) music for a living. His followers are constantly asking him what his songs are about and when that particular thing happened in his life. His response is always that his songs are not really about him, but about inspiration around him or a story that popped into his head at that moment. Everyone is just a character, even if they are based on him a little. Although this is not exactly what Goldberg was getting at, they are similar in their thought that the people in their writings are now characters and separate from the author. I have also seen this in my own writing. Although I do not write anything formal, I often jot down things to get them out of my mind so I can sleep or concentrate on actual work. When I go back to read what I wrote later on in life, I realize how different I am from that person. In fact, it is rather embarrassing, until I remind myself that that person is like a character of mine, not really a person any longer. Keeping this in mind for actual pieces helps me be less afraid to just write.

In the second chapter for this week, called "Obsessions," Goldberg talked about how we need to embrace things that are running through our minds obsessively and write about them, because that will create the best work. An example she gave was writing about her family. She said that she tries to stop writing about them for a while at times, but she always returns, because she is unable to write about anything else well if she doesn't. Once again, I had a moment of "I definitely understand this!" In fact, while writing the poems for class assignments, I ran across this very issue. I was constantly trying to avoid writing about a certain topic, because, although I understood that the piece would just be like a character and not Chelsea, the character was still too close for me to share it. After I finally gave in and tried to work out a way that was still the topic but not too close for comfort, I was able to get the poem out easily. Not only did it clear my mind, but it ended up being one of the pieces of mine that I liked the most.

Reading Natalie Goldberg's book has been a lot of help when it came to pushing me to write a certain way. Poetry has always been the writing style I have feared, as I have said in my previous entries, but her book has helped with overcoming the fear a little bit each time. She makes it seem so simple and natural to just write that it makes it almost fun.

Rediscovering Poetry

When I came into the class on the first day and learned that the first thing we were going to study was poetry, I let out a loud groan in my mind. I didn't groan because I do not appreciate it, because I really do think it is an art and worth studying. The groan had to do with the fact that I find it difficult and almost all the poetry I have ever been exposed to has been the same - specific rhyme schemes, a certain number of lines per stanza, etc. While reading through the poetry packet provided for this class, however, I was reminded that there are many different types of poetry styles.

One example of a poetry style I came across that was not what I expected was the Harryette Mullen's "Dim Lady," the poem that is based on Sonnet 130 by Shakespeare. At first glance, the appearance alone is not something that is expected of a poem, because it is a block shape and looks more like a paragraph than a poem. Also, the poem does not have a "normal" rhyme scheme, which is more obvious with the non-traditional shape. Not only is the appearance of the poem a shock, but it is a comfort of sorts, because it makes it the poem have a more modern feel for me, which could be the point of its shape. The content of the poem is also modern ("honeybunch's peepers," "Red Lobster," "kisser," etc.), so adding in a paragraph shape helps the reader keep that feeling while just looking at it.

Another example of a poetry style I came across that was not what I expected was Susan Howe's poem from Singularities. Just glancing at the poem is enough to give someone a headache, because the words are, literally, all over the place. Yes, there are some straight lines, but that does not help with the understanding when lines overlap each other, are upside down, and some phrases are even completely broken up. There is even a stanza that is the same phrase ("Traverse canon night siege Constant firing") but one is flipped upside down. In all honesty, I have no idea what the poem is talking about, because just looking at it freaks me out, so sitting there trying to figure it out causes a lot of stress. Of course, for all I know, this could be the point of the appearance of the poem. From what I have learned in class, when a poem looks chaotic, there is always a logical and artistic reasoning behind it.

Rediscovering that poetry is diverse just like my ultimate love, Music, helps me in understand it a little more. Although it is still like a new language for someone who has not studied it much over the years, the appreciation is growing again, because it deserves it, just like music or a new language.

Chelsea Delaney

Fear of Writing

Writing, for both the classes and the masses, has always been something I have feared. It was never really the writing part, though, because that's the easy part. The terrifying part came when it was time for someone to actually read or hear my words.

See, I have pretty much always been the shy, awkward kid who would sit near the front of the class, but rarely, if ever, say a word because of a fear of judgement. I mean, let's face it, kids can be harsh, and teachers can be just as harsh. So, I let them judge my silence instead. It was a sort of comfort to know that they would never be able to tell if I was a genius or if I knew absolutely nothing.

However, written pieces of work, whether they be essays, short stories, or poems, bring out the most fear when it comes to my thoughts being known, because writing is supposed to be a general way to communicate with others. Or that is how I see it, at least. I have been forced to work on this more over the past year, because, though they are incredibly informal forms of writing, Twitter, instant messaging online, and texting have been the easiest forms of contact with friends from all over. I also chose to start a blog on my own time over the summer to get myself prepared for this class and getting used to people reading my writing again. More informal writing, but practice is practice. And practice makes (near) perfect.

Anyways, the point of this short rant was to explain why I really decided to take this Creative Writing class.

I realized that it was time to look beyond informational essays for class and to get rid of my fear of people reading what I have to say. I know it will be a stretch and challenge for me, but because writing is still one of the best ways to communicate with multiple people at once, I want to grow comfortable with it. It will help having other students along on this journey who will, possibly unknowingly, push me to do even better.

I look forward to this class and taking in all the stress it is sure to cause.

Chelsea Delaney